Letters to Lovers Lost

No matter what kind of car you show up in, it’s who you are and how you present yourself that makes the most lasting impression. The importance of chivalry ranks high among women, as the majority of women in our poll (78 percent) think that a gentleman should pick his date up in his car on a first date. The type of car that you drive can create preconceived notions about who you are as a person, So it’s important to be confident and let your personality speak for itself. If you drive a broken-down jalopy that you use as a combination closet, office and trash bin, it would be in your best interest to give it a wash and vacuum before picking up your date. Women recognize when men put in the extra effort, especially on the first date, as first impressions will make or break the evening. If you’re lucky enough to be able to pick up your date in the latest luxury car, don’t think that this puts you at an edge. According to our poll, men who drive expensive and exotic cars were actually viewed by women as show-offs (50 percent) or arrogant (35 percent).bonga cams In the end, what matters most when dating and leaving a good impression aren’t superficial like the car you drive or your occupation. Your personality traits – including charm, a positive self-image, intelligence and humor, along with chemistry and how you interact with your date – are the factors that help ensure a successful start to a relationship. If you’re interested in seeing more interesting stats on what your car says about you to women and how it could impact your dating life, check out the full results of our survey here.

  Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men Tagged in: advice, cars, cars for attracting women, Dating, do girls care about your car, Online Dating, survey, will a new car get me dates Maybe that giant octo-penis really IS a bad idea after all… Whether you have written it down and locked it up in your diary under your pillow or just rolling around in your head, you probably have a list of what you are looking for in a man. But what happens if what you think you want isn’t actually what you want? Here are some man-scenarios and how their seemingly great characteristic can eventually leave you with a bad taste in your mouth. The Joke-meister I would venture to guess that more than 90% of women are looking for a guy that’s funny. However, be careful that you distinguish between a guy who’s funny and a jokester. A jokester is the guy who throws out one-liners all night, tells knock-knock jokes, and thinks he’s the funniest guy on the planet. This may be entertaining and attractive for one night, maybe two, but I guarantee you will get tired of it pretty soon. Also, if a guy can’t be serious it makes you wonder if he’s hiding some massive issues behind his joke-heavy behavior. The Family Man This one may seem a little odd, but bear with me! We want a man who is close with his family because that means family is one of his core values. Since most of us want to start families of our own, this is extremely attractive. However, be wary of just how close he is with his family. Do they weigh in on every decision he makes?

Do they like you and do you like them? If there is friction between you and his family, it could spell disaster. Don’t get me wrong, a guy who values family is a diamond-in-the-rough, just keep your eyes wide open as to just how close he and his family are. The Attentive Dude If you’ve had a relationship go south because your man didn’t give you enough attention, you probably put “attentive” at the top of your new checklist. We love to feel wanted and special. However, feeling spoiled with attention and affection can quickly turn into feeling smothered. No one wants a clingy man or to feel like you are his entire life. He needs to get his own and let you be a part of it! Mr. Money Bags We all want to find our true love….it’s an added bonus if he’s richer than Bill Gates. A guy who is very successful can be a great provider for you – a financial provider, that is. Most people who have found their way to the success ladder had to sacrifice many things along the way. Investing time with friends and family, and cultivating hobbies often fall way behind their pursuit of career advancement. They are okay with working 80 to 90 hours a week, obsessing over work, and throwing other people under the bus to get ahead. Is that really the form of guy you want to spend your daily life with, rich or not?

Merry Christmas from the Urban Dater

  The basic rule of thumb when evaluating how any man stacks up against your list is to keep your eyes wide open. Almost any characteristic may be turned into a negative if it is taken to the extreme. It’s easy to see your man through rose-colored glasses, but make a choice to see him for who he truly is! Your decision might save you lot of heartache down the road. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Women, Tips & Advice Tagged in: dating advice, red flags, relationship advice The anticipation of a New Year may be both exciting and unnerving. The newest Year means mean new worries, new loves, and new desires. You can feel the apprehension… Here are 12 empowering resolutions to relieve that feeling and take the newest Year by the horns! “I’ll be proactive.” I won’t make excuses if I ever feel dissatisfied with my dating life. We can control how we react to our current relationship statuses. And seize the opportunities that haven’t been hiding but sitting in front of us all along. “Say no when I need to.” There have been ton of good people that I have passed and a ton of not-so-good people that I have said yes to. The guy who’s a classic d, and by d, I mean derrière. The girl you feel no spark for.

Or to yourself. When you know you could do better. “Keep healthy.” Healthy body, mind, and heart. Enough said. “Embrace regrets.” It’s liberating to understand that things won’t ever pan out 100%. And that’s just life. Call it timing. Genetic or environmental dispositions. Fate. Call it being stupid.

Haha, but isn’t that why we love it? View regrets as Life’s nagging but well-intentioned reminders. “I’ll be open.” If you widen your periphery, you won’t believe how much you can let in. Date outside your comfort zone. “Go steady with someone.” It takes as much guts to go down a path the long way as it does to go down the unfamiliar way (Resolution #5). For we can’t predict the consequence but isn’t that the thrill? There is that pondering thought of missing out on something better… But knowing someone, truly getting them, doesn’t happen briefly. No matter how many something-betters you may run into, you’ll still be around a short-lived profile of a person as opposed to someone you have come to love fully, steadily, and deeply. “Lose 10 lbs. Volunteer. Bungee Jump. Get promoted. Visit Paris…” Keep having goals. Keep living passionately every day. And a partner will come as a great bonus. “Grieve long but grudge short.” Heartbreak is inevitable.https://topadultreview.com/ And if you’re not hurting, you’re not trying. It’s okay to mourn over a loss. And you can take your sweet bittersweet time with it. That’s the only way to heal.

And if you would like rebound begrudgingly and go on an empowering revenge trip, you go girl! But at the end of the day, we need to sit before we walk, and walk before we run. “Say yes when I want to.” So what if you just met this girl on a connecting flight? Yeah, sure he’s 8 years your senior. It doesn’t matter if he lives in Toronto and you in Tokyo! So what if the woman who you clicked with is your late cousin’s frenemy’s sister’s best friend? She might be your next, first, and last wife. “Play hard.” I want to live life with vivacity. Youth is a mentality. While I’m young or old, up or down, I want to meet new people, learn new things, and have new experiences- both romantic and not. Nourishing the desire for human connection and connection– what other lifeblood is there for a relationship? “Remember memories.” What’s the application of memories without remembering? They say the more we reexamine a memory, the more it changes. Alternatively, I think…the more it stays similar. “Be present.” The best gift you can give anyone is sharing the present with him or her. Give your state of being. Without the clutter of tomorrow or the past. It’s the most authentic way to see someone because it doesn’t matter how many years will pass, who are we really, but who we are now? Let’s not hesitate to be ourselves and take in others who do the same.

Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Online Dating, Self So you snagged a date with your dream girl. How are you going to make this the date of her dreams? Here’s a list of 10 things that will help you out tremendously on your first date. 1. Have a reservation. Choose a general restaurant. Or better yet, ask her what she likes to eat. Don’t take her to Angus barn if she doesn’t eat beef or a seafood spot when she’s allergic to seafood. Do your research before making the reservation. 2. Pick her up.

Walk to her door to get her. And in case you really want to score points, open her car door. These might seem like cliché traditional dating styles, but they’re clichés for a reason. 3.

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Sit on the opposite side of the table from her. You want to be able to make eye contact! And if you sit down next to her without her asking you to, it’s just plain weird. No one likes that couple that sits side by side. 4. Ask questions. Don’t talk about yourself the whole time. This might seem obvious but you’d be surprised by the quantity of guys who talk out of nervousness, never letting the girl get a word in.

Don’t be among those guys. If you’re really into her than show it by asking her questions about herself. And not shallow, finger food party questions either. You have her to yourself, ask meaningful questions- get to know her! 5. Don’t keep asking if she’s having a good time. Be attentive yet not overly doting! You should definitely make sure she is comfortable but asking her over and over again if she’s having a good time, will surely make her uncomfortable. 6. Don’t ask whether you can kiss her at the end of your date. Use your instincts. Feel this one out. If you think she wants a kiss than go for it boldly. But don’t ask for one. That’s just awkward. 7. Have something planned for after dinner. In case it goes really well.

8. Don’t let that plan be a party. That’s far too overwhelming for any girl on a first date. Besides it’s about getting to know her- remember? 9. Ask for her number and make plans for a second date before you leave your first one. If you would like see her again, make it known before you leave her. This eliminates lot of the post date anxiety over whether or not the two of you are going to get together again. Go ahead and find out the answer. It’ll be best for both of you. And she’ll appreciate the gesture. 10. If you go home right after dinner, be sure to send her a text after the date. Something casual that still shows your interest like, “I had a great time.

Would like to see you again.” Simple as that. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook25Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: For Men Tagged in: advice, Dating, do’s and don’t’s, dream girl, first date, for me, how to, love, Relationships, tips The moments and exchanges that occur immediately after you make that initial contact with someone up to and including that first date may be exciting and exhilarating- flirty texts, anticipatory daydreams, that crucial chemistry test. Those moments and exchanges can also be the most critical and, in some instances, will make or break the relationship before you have a chance to order your beer. We all want to get to the part where we finish each other’s sentences and have the power to dispel a bad mood within seconds of eye contact, but it takes time to get there. When you first meet a girl, she isn’t going to get your dry humor right away or assume that you aren’t needy if you text her day and night. These things happen over time as you get to know one another and discover the truth about all those adorable quirks that to the outside world may or may not make you appear creepy and sad. You know you are a cool guy. Make sure she gets to know it too by avoiding these five common blunders that instantly turn her off. Neediness You didn’t mean to text her twice in one night and again the next morning without as much as an emoticon from her. But you did it. It’s good to be in touch, but there’s a line between touching and grabbing on for dear life that you simply cannot cross if you really want this girl to date you. Think of a text message as a poke or a tap on her shoulder. Do you really want to be the guy that won’t stop poking her?

If you text her, give her time to respond before sending that follow-up message. My rule is 24 hours, because a lot can happen in that time and you just never know what her story is until she tells you. If you don’t hear from her by then, you are more than welcome to poke her again with a nice “hope you’re doing okay, holler if you would like grab that drink” sort of nonchalant ball-in-her-court pitch. Discount Dating Nobody says you have to be a Rockefeller, but you certainly have no reason to be the next guest on Extreme Couponing. If you’re dating on a budget, as many of us are, do some research ahead of time and keep a mental list of first-date destinations that you can comfortably afford without taking out a second mortgage on your home. If the girl insists on going to a swanky, budget-busting bistro and you would rather relax at Lo-Cal’s Watering Hole, then perhaps she’s not the girl for you. There is nothing wrong with being smart with your cash as long as your date concurs. Being the Opposite of Considerate Chivalry is not dead, no matter what you heard. It’s still really nice to have you open our doors, pull out our chairs, and even let us order first. These actions say more than “I’m a gentleman.” Chivalry starts with caring and genuine concern for our welfare. Making sure we get through the door, that our butt makes it comfortably onto the chair, and that we have found an agreeable item on the menu all shows us that you give a shit. Also, using words and phrases like “please, thank you, and you’re welcome” seal the deal on your status as a gentleman. Oh, and please pay attention to us as opposed to that text message you just received. One-Man Band When there are two people in a conversation, there should be two people actually in the conversation. The point of a first date is to get to know each other, not to display your many facets of awesomeness through an hour-long monologue. Bragging is unattractive, and talking a lot of can be a sign of insecurity.

So what’s a guy to do? Ask questions and be sure you breathe. She’s just as nervous as you are and just as eager to show you how cool and amazing she is, so take your turns like mature adults and keep the conversation flowing in a nicely balanced two-way fashion. Missing the Boat This may seem obvious but some guys actually mess this part up. If you never ask the girl out, how are you expecting to date her? With online dating sites, it’s easy to get caught up in email exchanges and then take that comfort-zone over to texting. At some point, though, you have to take the plunge. Most of us are not looking for pen-pals or chat-chums. We want you to ask us out. Honestly. My rule is this: your third email to her should include a phone number request and your first call or texting session should include a first date offer. If you happen to have met the old-fashioned way, in person, then I say ask her out as you wrap up that initial conversation. Dating can be fun and exciting, or it can be a total disaster. The line is fragile and thin but clearly marked if you take your time and heed this advice.

Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook18Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: advice, Dating, first dates, mistakes, Online Dating Lately, finding the right person to share our lives is becoming more elusive than ever. The availability of apps and dating sites flooding the market make it harder to find the person we want to share our lives with. We become serial daters moving on quickly and hold each person to higher and higher standards the longer we are single. There is an overflow of information on the internet on how to be ‘ready’ for love and what you must to do prepare yourself for love to come into your daily life. But perhaps on a simpler level you embody the thinking below that stop you from finding love. See if you can identify any of them that you are holding on to. 1. The person you are looking for doesn’t exist You haven’t felt chemistry in over a year and you feel you are wasting your time. Being single for a long time can make it difficult to go on a date with someone without expecting to be disappointed. This leads to making judgements that quickly eliminate them as not your type. He ordered tap water at the restaurant and took public transit; it must mean he’s broke. She did not offer to pay half the tab so she probably expects men to pay for all the dates.

These assumptions about your date can lead you to quickly judge who they are and decide they are not right for you. The negativity towards dating shows in your body language, your gestures and your attitude. When you believe dating sucks or that online dating is for only desperate people, others will notice it. Reset your mind to develop a positive, self-aware attitude for dating. The quickest way to do this is to think about if you would want to date yourself and hang out with you? Remember that the next person has nothing to do with the last person. Let go of your stereotypes and your urge to produce quick judgements to keep a open mind. You might be surprised that they may not be the person you expected…but in a good way. 2. You believe rejection means you don’t have what it takes to be in a relationship every person who has been rejected has experienced this doubt.

But I will let you in on a secret: rejection is a good thing! ninety-nine percent of the people you date will not be the right person for you. Rejection just simply means that the person who rejected you is not right for you. Most people you go out with will not click with you and there will be many more where you just didn’t ‘feel’ it so you decided not to go with them again. It goes both ways. It’s the nature of dating. Rejection feels personal because we are looking for love, acceptance, and a shared life with another person. It’s inevitable that we will feel this way about being turned down by someone we really liked but they did not feel the same way. The best way to counteract this is to keep a positive attitude, be optimistic, and confident.

Understand that if that person is not going out with you again then they are not meant to be your life partner. Knowing this will save you lot of time and heartache in the foreseeable future. Time spend with the wrong person in the wrong relationship is less time spend with the person you were meant to be with. 3. You believe that when the time is right love will just appear Meeting the right person at the right time without putting effort into it is rare. This is so rare that you will only consistently see this in Hollywood movies and in Disney cartoons. For the ninety-nine percent of us this is not going to happen and if you are not devoting time to find a partner you cannot expect to find love.