Dear Mary: My lesbian gf and I also are thinking a threesome with a man

I will be a bisexual girl in my early 20s and now have been with my gf, who’s a lesbian, for over couple of years.

I will be the happiest I have ever been. We have never desired to cheat and am genuinely pleased and satisfied inside our relationship and I also think my partner could state similar.

We recently came across a person whom hinted he’d prefer to have a threesome with us.

Now, being two women that are young a relationship usually brings these kind of provides, but we have been actually considering fulfilling up with this particular one.

My wife and I always talk things away and then make a joint choice on every thing and I also understand we’re going to do the same right here, but i desired some other viewpoint and thought you would certainly be the most effective to provide it.

My concerns are that my gf will not take pleasure in the experience. She actually is a lesbian but has frequently discussed her dream of me personally with males.

We additionally stress that she will not feel this woman is sufficient during intercourse for me personally after seeing me with a guy. I’m not at all worried that when we try this it can make me realise i am lacking guys. I do believe it could, nonetheless, be described as a thing that is good we have been young and wish to test before engaged and getting married and precisely what follows from then on.

My general ideas appropriate now are, if it is not broken do not repair it. Our sex life does not require spicing up – in my experience – but i am wondering as it couldn’t really hurt that much if we should give it a go.

A Your gf includes a dream of seeing you with a person, additionally the guy that you met without doubt features a dream to be with two females.

Also you are thinking about facilitating these two people by having the suggested threesome though you are very happy with how things are at the moment.

I must state that We share your reservations. Differing emotions have already been reported by those who have skilled threesomes, which range from experiencing a little overlooked and lonely to being quite jealous of seeing their partner having satisfying sex with someone else.

The countertop argument is that it’s just intercourse without psychological participation, however the simple truth is that thoughts is not rejected once they happen. Generally there is a risk that your particular gf may possibly not be too pleased seeing you with a guy – and maybe you having fun when you are, most likely, bi-sexual – and experiencing that she can never ever satisfy you in the manner which he can.

You may possibly see things quite differently, you need certainly to keep in mind her reaction that is possible.

It seems like you’ve got a delightful relationship together with your gf and if you should be both delighted then there’s you should not alter things and danger upsetting this.

The other danger is the fact that then she can no longer use it as a fantasy if you make her fantasy a reality, and it doesn’t work out.

With her, exploring what possible reactions you would both have if you are together with a guy before you make a final decision it would be a good idea to talk the whole thing through.

It a little more real you can view some feminine- centred porn together – something such as in the event that you wished to make to see the manner in which you both feel imagining yourselves in whatever situation you will be viewing.

This might provide you with some insights and help to make up your minds.

I do not quite follow your train of idea once you state you’d like to test before getting married.

Making the commitment that is final one another should never actually alter any such thing. Clearly such a thing goes between two adults that are consenting long when you are perhaps perhaps maybe not breaking regulations.

If only you a lot more delighted years together.

You’ll contact Mary O’Conor anonymously by going to ie that is www.dearmary or e-mail her at or write c/o 27-32 Talbot Street, Dublin 1. All communication will be addressed in confidence. Mary O’Conor regrets that she actually is struggling to answer any relevant concerns independently.

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